I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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