she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
