and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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