I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We got so high we made milksteak
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
