Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
