Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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