Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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