some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
