Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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