So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
