He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
