Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
