the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
