I cockslap morals
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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