my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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