...so i touched it.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
