would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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