It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
