i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
