I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
