All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
