u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
