I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
