Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
