think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
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