I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Your penis caused this!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize