Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
