If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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