Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
