Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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