Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
