you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
cat food counts as protein by the way
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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