Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
