a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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