I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
