I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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