My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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