Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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