So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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