I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize