I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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