are you still at the devil's house?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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