I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
