I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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