i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
