His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
