also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
