Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
