I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
