Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
