pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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