awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Rumble strips road head = magical
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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