she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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