If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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