All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
