Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
sarcasm needs its own font
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
